The most common goal for human beings isn’t to win the lottery or to be immortal as you may think, it isn’t to be beautiful or to have magical powers, it is to be happy. It’s been said for many decades that love is all we need.
But is it really? Can love be more than enough or is there something else we’re missing?
We all know how powerful love is, how far we can go and how much we can do for someone we love. This unconditional feeling is often called “True Love”. It fills us with an unspeakable joy, it makes us feel alive and hopeful for the future. But have you been deeply in love and at the same time lack peace within your relationship and yourself? Have you ever thought that you loved someone so much that you forgot who you really are, or even lost yourself?
As intoxicating as this might feel, we can’t help but notice this duality and wonder, how can something so beautiful and magnificent make us feel so bad sometimes?. Love or peace, which of these concepts has a bigger influence on our happiness?
According to the Buddhist beliefs, True Love consists of 4 elements that when present, represent the highest form of harmony and contributes to enhancing our happiness.
They are the following:
Loving Kindness:
You show genuine loving kindness when you are able to make someone happy. This is achieved by taking the time to get to know them and understanding their needs, whether it is taking out the trash for them, sipping a nice glass of wine together after a long day of work or simply being there for them.
Compassion:
You are compassionate towards someone when you contribute to end their suffering. Having compassion is to acknowledge what causes their pain and help them stop it.
Joy:
You bring the ultimate joy to a person when you are truly present. If you set the goal of developing mindful relationships, you give people the gift of your full attention, your full recognition, and your full love.
Inclusiveness:
You are inclusive when you get to the point where there is no discrimination whatsoever, there is no separation, only unity between both parts. Their problem is your problem, their happiness is your happiness, you don’t work on your goals only but make decisions based on a more collective sense of self.
Whenever these 4 elements are present you tend to feel both love and peace within your relationships. But, of course, relationships are a two-way street, you need two or more people willing to practice a healthier and kinder type of love. When the dynamics don’t go as we would expect, we find ourselves in place of sadness, grief, and pain.
On the other hand, acquiring peace is a more personal and individual process. When we seek inner peace, we are forced to encounter ourselves in our deepest and most honest version. When happiness is based on the level of peace, we have full control over our decisions and we are solely responsible for our happiness. This can be very frightening since it requires us to let go of our deepest fears, conceptions, and beliefs — but the reward is simply invaluable!
The most important aspect of finding inner peace is to remain present. Here are some tips to do so:
Be Aware of Your Senses:
Feeling the cold breeze in the early morning, smelling a freshly brewed coffee, listening to the silence, observing all the colours of the sunset and tasting your favorite food with full awareness: that is the biggest gift you can give yourself.
This sensorial awareness saves you from overthinking and brings you back to yourself providing a sense of calm.
Practice Mindfulness:
A great habit to bring into your life is to live mindfully. This means putting your entire attention on the activities you’re doing in the present moment. It prevents you from being distracted, worrying, and living too much in your head. If you embrace this practice, even doing the dishes can be a therapeutic activity and you will cultivate more beautiful memories.
Be Grateful:
Thinking positive feels good. By resetting your mind into a more grateful state, you can feel and realize that your life is actually filled with miracles and blessings. Even bad situations can be turned into gifts when thought about properly.
Now, we can conclude that love, as delightful as it can be, has a variable nature. People come and go, people change, people choose different paths and whether you can cope with those different situations or not, peace is always the answer to your ultimate happiness.
Sometimes we know deep in our hearts that we are not where we want to be in terms of a relationship, but we are not able to break the cycle. This is because love and pain make us feel alive: they excite us and move us to our very core.
Peace, on the other hand, can be perceived as “not feeling anything”. That is, however, a misconception. Peace is a must have in your life: it provides you with an unconditional, compassionate companion which never ceases to comfort you That companion is yourself.
Once you are at peace with yourself, you can enjoy love vibrantly, fiercely, and develop healthier relationships. And if the circumstances are not given to do so, you can also step away from harmful and toxic situations. You can count on your inner peace to keep you safe and you will be delighted by the miracle of life unfolding in front of your eyes every day.
There is no bigger blessing than to be aware of the magic of life, don’t miss out on that! Love is beautiful and important but when things don’t go as planned, your inner peace will never fail to catch you when you fall!
That is why peace is more important than love! What do you think?
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